I have to disagree with the violent porn being some kind of serious problem since many of us guys are into things in the wild BDSM side of things. Your sexual interests are what make you human; embrace them. Why try to hide who you really are or change? Society won't give a damn either way so why be unhappy because of other people? You are an individual. You are unique. You are you. Nobody can change that.

Obviously it's not OK to go around having violent sex with women who aren't into that sort of thing but I don't see anything wrong with simply watching porn or doing it with somebody who consents to it. After all, there are plenty of people who like to be physically hurt or dominated during sex; as long as they like it and you aren't hurting people who aren't into that sort of thing, who cares?

With that being said, I would still recommend doing something about your loneliness and I would also stop putting such an emphasis on labels. I mean, who gives a flying flip about the many labels used in psychology? Don't let a label define who you are; move past it. Still though, if you can afford to see a therapist, I say go for it. Worst thing that can happen is it they won't understand you or won't help which in case, move to another. Self help books are also an option and can sometimes be more beneficial.

But whatever you do, don't change what makes you who you are for anybody. Instead, embrace everything that you are, both the good and the bad and move forward. Everybody has a dark side to them, especially those of us who have been hurt in our lives and there is nothing wrong with it as long as you don't go around hurting innocent people.

I hope I helped!