I know that works for some, but we don't do it that way in my therapy or my last therapy. We do it more naturally and address things as they come up.
Negotiating boundaries is sort of a experiential learning experience for me, and it's been useful to me. Outside of therapy, people don't usually agree in advance of how they relate. That's why I favor the way my therapist does it. I know the way you described it is more common than the way we do it in my therapy, but it's not the only way and not necessarily the best way for everyone.
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Originally Posted by lucozader
Yeah, those seem like good descriptions to me!
I think the most important thing as far as boundaries are concerned in therapy, is that they're discussed and made clear at the beginning of the relationship. Both therapist and client need to have their boundaries respected, and this is only going to happen if both parties have a clear understanding of each others'. In my experience things can go terribly wrong when one person transgresses a boundary that they didn't know existed, or when boundaries seem to be suddenly and drastically changed some time into therapy.
Ideally, both parties should sign a contract at the start of therapy that lays all this out. The specifics of the relationship that is being entered into should be understood by everyone. It's informed consent, same as they do for medical procedures...
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