Quote:
Originally Posted by Skies
I feel so much more clear on this than I used to be. You can't control the other person. The way i see it is the boundary is always for yourself-not the other person, regardless of what the other person does.
If another person is impinging on me, it's up to me to establish my boundary and take action. I could cut the person off if need be, not answer their call, call the police, etc.
This is where i see lots of problems. People can't automatically know your boundaries. I made so many mistakes by not asserting myself or saying no to little things that all add up to being taken advantage of in the end. I'm not talking about children here.
I've complained about people crossing my boundary, but in truth, I didn't do anything about it or wasn't assertive enough so I can't blame anyone but myself for continuing to let it happen, as I got enmeshed with the other person.
Negotiating boundaries i think is an interpersonal skill.
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That makes a lot of sense to me, thank you. I guess when it comes to that space where people's boundaries clash I start to get a bit confused as to what's meant to happen! But people with healthy boundaries will likely also have the ability to
assert those boundaries. I guess that's an important part of it.