I found that really interesting, thanks for sharing it - and thank you for sharing some of your personal experience. I'm sorry it took you so long to work out what was going on for you there - but glad that you did in the end.

It turns out, actually, having read that article, that I most definitely lack healthy boundaries myself. To be honest it's not specifically something I've thought a lot about before, at least not outside of how it applies in therapy. I wonder if that's why I feel so strongly about clear and inflexible boundaries in therapy - because that's not something I experienced growing up and not something I've been able to assert for myself in the past.

ETA: Oh dear, I'm properly going on a roller-coaster of insight now... My mother was very unpredictable. I never quite knew what the boundaries were. It was painful for me. I couldn't stand for my therapist to be that way too... although I often project that stuff onto him, I think...