Thanks all for the kind words, I am welling with tears now with feelings of support! I know that I have to let them go, I actually think they did it to his ex wife too, so I know in my heart of hearts it's not just me! I worry about that with being bipolar and not thinking clearly sometimes, I do have a therapist that I just started while my husband was in the hospital and she is great, and hospice offers free groups with loss of a spouse to illness, it's just making it step by step like someone else said, so thanks all for the support I feel better !!! God bless and I will come back more often, Lela