Dear M,

When I said "I love you" last week I wasn't even thinking about it, it just came out by accident just like everything else I said, and when it did, it felt good and true.

But now I'm terrified that something bad is going to happen because I said those words. I don't know what, just a feeling. I haven't said them at all to anyone in at least five years, and before that... never to my parents, rarely to partners. The reasons for staying quiet are still very compelling. I'm so scared.