I have mostly depressive episodes, lasting longer and longer each time. Once in a while if lucky I will get a break and be in that euphoric state where I swear I am just "better" finally, though people who know me recognize before I do that I am in a manic state. Why is it that we are the last to recognize what state we are in? I have had manic episodes, lasting maybe two to three weeks, but then always followed by a massive depressive episode. I am mostly stuck in depression. Being in the middle would just be nice sometime.