Thank you, Rose. I am okay with him spending a lot of time with his friends, but I do still want to feel secure in the relationship... I talked to him about this and I think we came to a good conclusion. Thank you. Hm, I took responsibility of myself on when I was 5. I still remember making that decision. My parents switched between abusive and neglectful very often. They had too many of their own issues to take care of kids. So it's true I'm trying to feel loved and validated in a way a child might. Thank you, this is very insightful. I'll speak about this to the therapist I'm seeing.

To yagr: Oh, I should mention that I'll look into the child ego more. It seems that it's normal to regress into it, and it's possible I'm doing that more than is healthy. Thanks again, yagr. I'm really worried I'll come off rude here, but I do take great pride in my independence, and don't expect him to take care of me. I think I'm just worried you may think I'm one of those woman who don't take care of themselves and expect a lot of money and time from their husbands. Those who don't take responsibility for themselves. I do love my husband greatly and wouldn't want to ever be like that, and I wouldn't enjoy it. I earn my own money, I contribute, I don't expect gifts or for him to take me out to restaurants, I don't expect anything fancy (or much at all), I understand his time alone and let him have it. I also talk out my issues with him calmly. For one, I take care of nearly all our bills, chores and appointments. I talked to my husband about this last night, and he said that I in no way act like a child and that I seem very mature. So I do find it interesting your wife is like that, and I'm glad your marriage works in that way. I don't think he parents me, though. I appreciate where you're coming from, and it would've been very eye opening if I was like that. I'm also sorry to hear what you're going through right now. I don't mean to come off as offensive.

Oh, looking up child ego state (to see if it fits), I still can't see myself not having an adult ego state (or just barely ever having it). I am open to the idea of not having it, for my own benefit. I'm always reworking myself to be a better person and better deal with issues.

To healingme4me: I'm actually not. I kinda have my own online life, and he has his. I don't mind this, though, since I like my privacy. We do talk about what we're doing online though, although we don't talk about everything of course.

Thanks everyone for your input!