Everytime I see she's been online on Facebook, I can't help but think "sure, she's online now, having a great time now that she doesn't have to worry about talking to you!". Maybe it's stupid and surely I've done nothing wrong but considering I've anxiety and suffer from extreme loneliness and we always tell eachother everything, my mind automatically goes to "oh yes, she's good now, she found a reason to bail on and not have to deal with my sadness"

It's so not right, I'm so upset, I've literally done nothing wrong and if she didn't want to hear any of my "whining" for a while, she should have just said so cause I can completely understand how that can be triggering when you're feeling bad yourself. And she knows, she knows I was already anxious at the thought of possibly losing her due to her new job, that she'd find better friends and just forget about me(which has happened to me multiple times). She said oh no, that could never happen and all that and then a few days later...this stupid block.

I really need her to be back and not be a coward, I know she's a good person and just cause aniety pushes her to do these things, I don't want that to ruin a very good friendship. But if she's going to be a coward and avoid me cause of guilt or just force herself to forget about me.....the harm would have been done, I can't take so much abandonment, I just can't, I was already out of hope in my life. How can I hope for love when even in friendship I have only bad luck...