anna... is there someone IRL you could ask for help? If you're this down you may need professional assistance... deep depression shouldn't be allowed to control your life...

meds could lift the dark and you'll be able to see some light.... maybe you wouldnt have to take them forever, but the meds could help get you through this spot you're in..

i can feel your pain... work is hard when you're down, being surrounded by the "happy" people only makes me more aware of my hurt and down feelings...

just think it'd be good for you to find some solid ground you can stand on til this clears better...