This could not have been a worst day. Maybe I should not say that. It could have been worst. It started bad. I had to explain to my teachers why I was going to be out another week. But they all understood. But I started shaking anyways. my place as the top student is not in jeopardy. But when I got home I was hit by wave after wave of terrible thoughts. Suicidal thoughts, cutting thoughts. I took some sleep meds and went to bed but woke up trembling and shaking. It only got worst. I was afraid I would collapse and I feared that. A friend took me out for coffee and I was shaking badly through most of the time. When I got home it continued. Then I started playing games here and an innocent post made me cry. Weep is more likely. Then Anna came home and I am still shaking but a little more control...

Today is 29 days. My best is 30 days. The immediate goal is 31... Almost there...