one of my abusers best friends has been talking with my friend lately...my friend nor i knew it was a friend of my abuser until yesterday. i was at my friends house, it was a 'party'...you know a couple people and some good drugs...but i didnt do any drugs this time. my friend wouldnt let me because i have been getting way to messed up lately. but he showed up, cuz my friend invited him. we were playing cards and talking...he had mentioned my abusers name, and at first i was to freaked to say anything...but when he said his name again i snapped. i feaked out...i was screaming at him and trying to hit him, but my friend was holding me back. everyone was so shocked...but he was just smiling, i cant get his f**king face out of my head now. he is a sick basterd...who could ever be friends with someone who has done such a thing...and he knew about it, i could tell. now im scared because he knows where i live...i thought some of this fear would go away because my abusers are dead...but i guess not.
i am terrified...i just want all of this to stop...but there is nothing i can do.