I don't take any controlled substances. I haven't been hospitalized in 9 years (Praise God for that!). I get disability.

Shrinks have cost my parents lotsa $$$ and caused me lots of pain, much of deliberately. Long story..."trouble makers" and "uppity mental patients" get the worst "treatment" (involuntary electroshock, anyone?).

My current label is Bipolar I, but the ex-shrinks call it "schizophrenia," and they're rather vocal about it. When I was electroshocked into oblivion, they said it was NPD--narcissistic personality disorder, apparently so severe that it lead to psychosis (?)--and now that I've "recovered from treatment..." well, they say its "Schizophrenia."

Meanwhile, my current counselor says I was "sick"--genuinely, bona fide, mentally ill--since childhood, and I'm just now stable-ish. Was I "sick," NPD, or just confused? And now? Bipolar I, Schizophrenia, or am I now (by some miracle...) recovered from the old life and just...labeled, because nobody is ever "cured" of anything in Psychiatry-land.

I dunno. I kinda want to quit the community/public mental health clinic and get to a family doctor, if I can. I fell for the whole "we're here to help the under-served population" line, but now I'm beginning to see this clinic as a form of social control, in a big big way. I hail from a "good family" that's taking good care of me, so I get a softer touch and all, but...when I look around the lobby, I don't see many success stories, let's put it that way.

Your thoughts? And thanks for reading, btw.