A while back I purchased the book, "The Complex PTSD Workbook", by Arielle Schwartz, PHD. I worked through the first two chapters previously, then took a break from it. I started Chapter 3 Sunday and was working on it some more last night after work.

Basically, it covers a topic and then gives you an exercise to complete and then you journal about it. Chapter 3 is about Healing Avoidance Symptoms.

One exercise is about coming up with a positive term about yourself and then repeating it several times. A suggested term was, "I love myself just as I am this moment", but it recommending coming up with your own statement. I thought that statement was a bit to strong for me so I came up with, "I love myself even though I can't handle life". I started repeating it, and after repeating it several times realized, I had inadvertently changed the term to "I hate myself even though I can't handle life".

I think I have a lot of work to do....that kind of put me into a funk because after that I couldn't get any positives out of what I was doing. So I went to sleep.