Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Generally speaking you're right of course but I still don't think it's right to outright abandon someone and take away all means of getting in touch to at least ask for a definite clarification.

In your own words: "Today she said something like she can't be around for a while and that she is so so very very guilty"

You are assuming you have been abandoned, she did not just drop off the grid without letting you know.

I don't know about you but I'm always taking into account how my actions will affect others because they do, that's the truth. It's like saying if someone abuses you it's your fault if you're left traumatized by it. That's obviously a more extreme example but the general point remains. Just like it's not right to let out your anger at other people, one shouldn't hurt someone when they can help it, when it's easy to help it.

Yes, I am also hyper aware of how my actions affect people, but just because I'm pliable enough to bend over backwards (which is quite unhealthy might I add, because I have poor boundaries) doesn't mean that others have to to do the same. There's a difference between being mindful and being pliable.

My friend didn't tell me she was coming back,
She also didn't say was not coming back…..

she just said sorry and her short message is left up for debate, it's not going either way, and then she blocked messages on Facebook so I have no way of contacting her because I never had to use her email and now I can't find it. She can take all the time she wants but she should have just said that's what she's doing. One sentence would have been enough "I'm not abandoning you" or anything to the effect. But she didn't do that

She did let you know what she's doing…. "Today she said something like she can't be around for a while"

She should have just told me either that she's going for good and why, or tell me she's not abandoning me and she's just doing this because it's what she does. I would have understood that, but she didn't do like your boyfriend

The situation with my bf was a lot of trial and error, his way of doing things was dropping off the grid and not replying to anyone's texts or calls. At first I didn't even get the courtesy of a heads up like your friend provided for you. I just assumed I was dumped. I had to call his mother to find out if he was still alive. It took a lot of communicating to come to a compromise

and even though I'm on her friends list...it means nothing as long as I can't even ask her how she's doing. Why does it mean nothing? That's very black and white thinking… If she considers her FB friends actual friends, and you're still on that list, that should at least provide some kind of peace of mind And if she's going to be too guilty to come talk to me, I can't contact her to say I'm not upset.

Oh and I sent her a present for her bday that's coming up, sent it way before this situation happened and the tracking system says it was delivered. She could have just said she got it, I was really excited for her to get it, sent it all the way from another continent. Now that part BLOWS, I understand how much that hurts. I don't' mean to come across as argumentative and combative by challenging this post but wether or not your friend was right or wrong, IMO I feel its worth looking at how you are perceiving things and what you may or may not be projecting…