It sounds like you're going through a tricky time at the moment, but looking for people to chat to about it is a good thing (ie posting on here).
You mention depression and anxiety in your post; have you spoken to a Dr about these issues? It may be that speaking things through with a doc or therapist might help.
Whatever happens, remember that you're not alone, and that there are many, many good people on here who are always happy to chat and listen to problems. My life's just fallen apart but I'm trying to start again, and listening to people who've been through similar is a big help.
Good luck with it