Cyran it's not embarrassing at all...we are all entitled to post and vent and ask questions.....I have lived through real torture of my mind and body....I read up on murderers like the ripper and Christie and watch good horrors, I cant watch anything about abuse, it triggers, but it's who we are, is it because of what happened to me? Would I be different if I hadn't been abused? Who knows, it doesn't mean I want to kill anyone,maybe I'm curious to know why people are like they are, look at Stephen King!!!!! Brilliant but so dark......

I just started to believe in God, from being here and seeing how people have faith and it helps them.....I just dont like having it shoved down my throat, religion is personal...how can you call yourself a christian and not let people live their lives ie (homophobic) I don't understand that......so maybe I'm not eligible to have God love me or me him????Confused here.....I dont go to church and I dont devil worship, my daughter is Pagan/Wiccan that doesn't make her a witch...she worships the first ever religion known to man......I dont know...I'm rambling here....my daughter is a lovely person, but some christians would call her a heathen because she is pagan?

live and let live, that's my motto

Jin xxxxxx