Starrysky, I am so sorry you are feeling like this right now - you are a gentle soul who feels and thinks about things deeply, at least that is how your posts appear to me. I am sure there will be lots of people who would like your company - and I really relate to trying to reach out and make friends but struggling with that.

If you don't want to go to your aunts for Easter then I don't think you should feel obliged - you are an adult woman after all. Can you give a legitimate excuse why you can't attend, some other commitment maybe? Some times a white lie is okay if it's to keep the peace. Holidays certainly can be stressful that's for sure.

One thing that always impresses me about your posts is your positive attitude, you always push on and try new things, and I know that's not always easy - you are also very good about self-care - keep that up, it will help.

Lastly you can always 'talk' here and of course PM me anytime you like.