Maybe this is about the difference between a mild depression and a severe depression. I think that people having a mild depression are the majority of the ones that have this type of "enlightening experience": "I was depressed in darkness and then I saw the light". But we, the ones with severe depression, we know depression (evil depression) will be with us, always. To me depression is like an undeveloped twin I have attached to my back, sometimes I forget about this backpack and move faster. Sometimes the backpack feels super heavy and I can barely move. Sometimes I am the backpack. I am all backpack.
I don't know even if this makes any sense, but I wanted to share it with you