Unaluna - What I mean is many small things which often come as an attack unfelt amidst the communications, such as a snide comment, an abusive comment hidden as a "discussion material"... I tend to overthink, but if those kind of "darts" have made me feel the way I've been feeling, then I assume them as hidden abuses.

starrysky - Yes, this is what I meant.
I've mostly been a very literal person. I have a problem with sarcasm and I've mostly been a serious person outwards.
But at home, we'd have our own communication of making fun of each other in a mixture of having fun and self-loathing and self-pitying, etc. It's been casual, but it was kind of a way to vent... perhaps from being so serious/closed-book outside of home..? I don't know

As for things I do that make me feel better - it's returning from work which has been a burden recently, drawing, playing World of Warcraft... not any more things I can think of right now. I'm so obsessed with success because I've been feeling too laid-back and settled-down. Some say it's a form of depression, but from what I've been through with myself I really want to have a feeling of success such as being a manager at whichever career path I take, performing formal speeches... but I found out my intuition senses are... weak. Could it be a result of overthinking? A high level of awareness or consciousness? Something else...?
I'm having a hard time figuring myself out, it's also a struggle.