Thinking of you. I just read your entire thread. I'm glad you posted. I hope you'll keep posting if it's helpful. I also had a painful experience with a T who didn't know how to handle transference.

It's been two years now and I'm much better, but it took a long time. I have a new T and I'm proceeding extremely cautiously...if I start to get transference, I'll likely find another T. I can't go through it again. My current T thinks my prior T mishandled the transference...and my current T said she's never had transference come up with a client. It makes me nervous. I trust her, but I'm cautious and always self-evaluating that it's "just about therapy."

Sorry for rambling...I'm sorry you are in so much pain. I empathize with you. I hope you will keep us posted and I wish you well. xo