Quote:
Originally Posted by yagr
Quick question: I've seen CPTSD referred to as complex PTSD and combat PTSD. I have both, incidentally, but which are you referring to?
Yes, makes sense. There's a bit of discomfort that I experience in answering questions about what I might call fringe groups that I belong to though. Not that the questions are bad or wrong, but because I feel as though I am speaking for my entire group.
For instance, I am a Buddhist in America. Not just in America but more specifically, a very conservative, very rural, evangelical Christian community. For most, I am the only Buddhist they will ever meet. So whatever I say Buddhism is, it'll likely be the only information that they use to form their opinion about Buddhism.
In the same way, while DID is more common than most might think, most of us don't advertise. And so, my personal experience with DID might be very different than someone else but in explaining my experience, even with this caveat, many people think they understand the DID experience via my personal explanation - when I am just one (or four, depending upon how you look at it) individual having an individual experience.
Nevertheless, I'm glad that you are asking questions. 
Lessee...
Do you celebrate individual alters birthdays? (It is the body's b-day today) |
Happy Birthday
my alters did not have individual birthdays, everyone had the same birthday as the body. the way my system was comprised was because of the abusers code of do not tell. which means if my alters celebrated different birthdays then people would have noticed that they were there and that the extreme trauma/ abuses were happening\ had happened. telling secrets (the abuses/ trauma's) was not allowed by the abusers under threats of harm to me and my family. even after I was placed in foster care for my protection through out the prosecution of my abusers that abusers code of conduct off do not tell was held to. the type of extreme trauma/ abuse I went through created alters that self harmed and suicidal should secrets be told.
my point each alter celebrating different birthdays than the body would have resulted in disclosure of their existence and the trauma's abuses. not to mention it would have looked and sounded really weird as a child going to school and when triggered switched into an alter that said "todays my birthday, Im going to have cake when I get home" and then the next day or week at school getting triggered by something that resulted in dissociation to the extreme of alters and saying again "todays my birthday I'm going to have cake and ice cream and presents" can we say instant phone call from the school to my parents saying I was hallucinating and delusional.
theres other reasons too why my system did not celebrate birthdays other than the body such as their birthday (the dates of their creation/ coming into being) was the result of the extreme trauma\abuses/ emotions that they held for me because as a young child I was unable to deal with those things in a non dissociated state of mind. their celebrating their birthdates in my system would have been like celebrating being abused/ traumatized...can you see my alters now.... Rainy or any of the other alters in school saying todays my birthday I was born when this and that happened to Amandalouise.
my alters did not want to remember when they came into being and what caused them to come into being. they had their own jobs, purposes reasons for being created, how much control they had and other issues like this that make up what here where I am is called sense of agency. celebrating their creation and what led up to their creation was not part of that.
see what I mean, it would have been really strange all my life from the moment of their creation to the moment that they integrated if my alters celebrated different birthdays.