I was feeling bad for my parents because they made me feel bad, but to be honest, and after living with them, they deserve to be alone and be sad. Now I won't regret being abroad if they even die alone, to be honest.

I don't have to follow their wishes, and be sad and not free for them. I told them from abroad that I don't want to come home because I don't want to be put in social and traditional chains, and my father assured me no one would interfere with my choices and decisions, but he wasn't honest with me. Now he wants me to do things I don't want to do, even things related to my look. I am used to certain things, but he thinks I have, for example, to dress formally, which is something I don't do. He still thinks the world is the same as it was in the eighties, and nineties. I don't do these things.

I was really stupid by coming home. I should have established myself abroad first and then came for a visit, so that I have the capabilities to go back. Now I feel things will be more complicated like finding a job abroad from where I am now, and finding an apartment abroad, ... etc. What was I thinking?