So just like every other time I took Wellbutrin it was just to get me out of a short depression and it would ending up making me mixed after a few weeks. Well that's happening now. I just want this crap out my system! Im dysphoric, violent, screaming, which is making me use my benzo more to calm down. To the point I'm pretty much abusing them just to calm down from the anger. I spent all weekend screaming at my family and in front of children. I feel like a monster. So I called my pdoc and left a msg saying how the AD is making me insane so I'm stopping it. Then she calls back and leaves a msg saying not to discontinue it until we meet. Well that's a month away!! [trigger]... when I get mixed like this I self harm and make an attempt. Then I end up in IP. I can't go a whole month like this. So I'm taking my own dam self off Wellbutrin before I hurt myself, someone else, or drink myself to death.

Pdocs (well unless they're BP too which I have yet to see) have no idea what this feels like. I want to rip my hair out just like every other time I took Wellbutrin.

Please if anyone is going to lecture me on going against orders please save it. I'm going nuts.