Ugh! I hear you. At least I think I hear you. Your bigger font says, "frustrated and/or annoyed" to me. If I'm wrong about that, please ignore the response and/or let me know.

It's important for me to tell you that's what I'm reading because the rest of this reply is based on the whole "frustration" understanding. I have been struggling with interpreting social context for a while--since this depression started--so please bear with me if I'm a complete numbskull/totally off. Hope that--and what follows--makes sense.

Your situation IS really, really hard. Awful! And, as if just HAVING bipolar isn't enough in and of itself, you have meds crap, an argumentative brain, aaaand some ignorant chick (me) blabbering at you. I'm so sorry, Flutterby. I didn't mean to compound the situation/add to your frustration.

I wish there was something I could do to help. I'm going through meds changes right now myself so in a small way, and to some degree, I understand the part about the meds not working. Not much worse than those! Can I ask...is it depression, mania, side effects you're struggling with when you say they aren't working, or is it just mostly the whole issue with your brain saying you're fine?

I'm sending love healing vibes your way.