The issue was that I didn't really have the money! The BMW got taken by the repo people when I fell behind on payments and the others were bought with huge loans I took out with high interest. Now I have a diagnosis I'm classed as being vulnerable by the UK Finance Authority so my bank shouldn't give me loans etc without a proper interview. I'm currently working on them to drop interest rate on the loan I'm paying off as I was clearly not well when I took it out.
And my wife made me sell the metal detector, still convinced I'd have found something!
Some interesting tales on this thread too, thanks everyone for sharing.