So...just curious if you don't mind. What does help look like? And what does "PP" mean?

I'm not sure why you feel defeated, two years is a long time to go symptom free, but I"m sorry that you're feeling that way. I hope it goes away soon. And to recognize you were getting manicky is huge! By the time I am typing like a fool, I'm already so far gone I can't even identify it in myself!

Good for you!

I hope you feel all the way better soon!