Your situation is not uncommom. I'm sorry you're going through this. Have you looked at the employment stats for peeps with bipolar? I don't know if they make me feel any better...but they are approximately this:

50-ish percent on ssdi or ssa
25-ish percent able to work fulltime in a competitive job situation
25-ish percent under-employed or unemployed

I totally hear what you're saying. I'm was in that 25 percent that's underemployed, but being as I haven't been able to work since last June, I'm in the disability process too. It feels awful. I'm a bright, well-educated woman with a strong work ethic. I enjoy working and being able to help others.

But I can't do so consistently. In the last year, I haven't been able to at all. And who knows when I will be able to again? I'm lucky if I brush my teeth two days in a row at this point.

Being at that place you are at--where you question what you should do with your employment life--is exactly where I am at. And the whole "not living up to your potential" thing. Gah. I hear ya. It's discouraging.

Can I ask, have you thought about part-time work? Or working with your local DVR office to get a placement that will be better suited to your situation? I know those things don't always help...just thought I'd suggest.

Hope that's ok