I have struggled with CPTSD my whole life. I just didn't have a name for it, and I used to be able to control it, keep it at bay. It's been in the last year that it's been relentless. Well there was also a period of time after I had left home, had spent 6 months in an abusive relationship and had escaped it that I was totally out of control. I think if I had seen a therapist then, I would have been diagnosed BPD. Instead of a therapist, I saw a recruiter, kept it together enough to come off as totally mentally stable, and joined the Air Force.

Anyway -- I don't really know who I am. I was created, molded by witnessing and experiencing abuse on a daily basis my entire childhood and teen years, and a knack for getting myself into abusive situations in adulthood.

For me, a short term goal would be to return to "my former norm". For a long term goal, to find out who I really am, to create "my new norm". But first I need to convince myself that I'm worth it for one. Also, I'm not sure I can do this while my daughter is still struggling. I feel like I should be concentrating on her.

So - yeah, I struggle with that too.

Maybe, instead of one goal, to reach a place that you aren't sure of, you set a goal that you can define easier, then once you reach it, set the next goal, with the final goal, to get your life back?