During my un-medicated years, I lied, cheated and hurt my husband and kids.
Since I've been working on myself, and our marriage, I have become completely transparent.
It makes him feel like he can trust me I'm assuming.
Being on this side of the equation makes me feel like he deserves transparency. And that isn't because he hasn't forgiven me, it's because I feel like I want him to be THAT involved in my life. I feel like I need him to keep me anchored. If that makes any sense?

We go to therapy (dbt) 2x per week together. It's helped our marriage and it's helped me with my mental health.

It's now been over a year since 2x per week DBT and I can say that the hard work, and emotional vulnerability paid off for us.
But, this is our marriage, and our situation. It doesn't work for everyone.