There's a book that someone shared a portion of on another thread. I ordered it and it's been very validating for me and makes me question if CPTSD is what I'm working through.

The title is COMPLEX PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving by Pete Walker

Here's the link to it on Amazon

Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving: A GUIDE AND MAP FOR RECOVERING FROM CHILDHOOD TRAUMA https://www.amazon.com/dp/1492871842..._C.P5ybE6N00H1

I recommend it because it has given words to what I could not understand. It's also written from the author's own experience.