Hi, Many of you know that I have been very ill lately. Sinus to pneumonia and obviously asthma acting up. Poops for 3 weeks, esophogitis, and extreme sciatic pain.

So finally yesterday I am off antibiotics and still crapping, wheezing and out of inhaler, no money for new meds anyway, no insurance. Had been using nebulizer. Got to doc and told him I was sick of all of the drugs. I wanted off everything so he starts with the methadone, pain killer. Didn't ask me how my sciatic pain was. This pain brought me to hospital emergency last week, I was screaming. So I am reducing methadone.
He doesn't listen to lungs or check out anything.

At last visit he explained to me not gently that he was upset with me because I had had a conversation with quality control from hospital re: a nurse. It had appeared nurse had lied and that I reported as it affected my kid. Well, I guess she did not lie, her phone call for meds was left on unanswered machine for long time at pharmacy,I thought She did call daughter's med in. That's what the pharmacy was stating to me. I apologized and made it right, got it off her records. He had told me during that visit that if I was going to be difficult and people are not comfortable working with me that I would need a different doctor. I cried all day that day even after talking with this Doctor I thought I could trust him, didn't know I had done anything wrong.

So this visit he wants to give me a new med for throat. I said fine but I needed sample as no cash and no insurance right now. Still waiting for insurance. He gives me inhaler too, I said, oh it'd different,is it okay? Meaning to switch. He asked me in a sarcastic way, was if I wanted it or not. I explained that I was only asking if it was okay. So he left me like a hot potatoe. I asked him about poops and he told me a teaspoon of nutmeg in H2o. It worked.

So I feel like I was treated really poorly. Partly poorly because I am poor and partly because he was angry that I mentioned wanting off all meds and not depending on them for anything. Partly because I had told him the effect his anger and the nurse events had on me.

It is so my PTSD that gets me here. No reliance on anything I can't control as it won't be there, I will be blamed, not believed, whatever. I was screaming in pain with sciatica that night in the ER, yup, I made it up cause I wanted attention. I am in a change af ADs cause I can't afford cymbalta. Doc even mentioned that I had had a prob with his wife doc and that if I wasn't going to behave they would make me leave the practice. I want to scream from being misunderstood.

I want to cry for being treated so poorly as my lungs kept me up all night again. I hold my breath to make sure it's not the dog sounding like that snoring, nope, me breathing. Me with a back prob, wants my cake and to eat it too. I want not to be dependent on anyone for anything and this guy had a bad day just for me. I am so hurt. Thanks guys, can you make any sense of my gibberish?