Quote:
Originally Posted by ExplodingSun56
The big reason I feel so unbearably lonely though the thing that bothers me the most is that I haven't really been with any girl and I don't know if any girl would like me. This is hard to talk about cause I feel like people look down on feeling alone cause of this. I didn't want to talk about this for a long time because I always felt ashamed for feeling alone because of this reason. I've been trying to finally talk about it more but its still hard to. I don't think anyone understands what I'm going through right now because of this. I want someone to like me and this is why I just can't take this lonliness anymore.
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I feel the same as you do and my experience with talking about it has been similar.
Tbh I think people are a bit hypocritical in general when someone is saying they're lonely and hurting because they are lacking the affection, connection and intimacy that comes with a romantic relationship. As adults, that's the most intimate, most complete relationship one can have and we're biologically built to need it.
I think people are hypocritical when they don't understand it because while most people experience degrees of loneliness and being without a partner, the overwhelming majority don't go permanently without a partner, without meeting the needs that are met by having a partner. So they don't realize that they're taking it for granted.
I tried, for ex, talking with a couple of people about it and both were like oh no it's not big deal, you just have to be patient(I'm going to be 30 and I haven't had one kiss even, so I've been pretty patient), it's not that big a deal having someone, it's overrated, etc. All this while one of them got back with the ex she no longer loved and married him and lied to herself that she did love him, because she couldn't be alone for 6 months(now she's getting a divorce, it's only been a year) and my other friend has a long distance boyfriend and it completely changed her life and outlook on life and everything cause she had also been perpetually single til the age of 25.
Point is, people are minimizing the need for a partner, at least from time to time, while they themselves actually invest a lot in finding and maintaining a relationship. So if they don't understand, that's not because your feelings and needs aren't absolutely valid, it's because they're unable to imagine how it would be like to be in your place and so deprived. Don't let anyone make you feel ashamed for feeling this way.