I'm not sure if it's similar to what you are experiencing, but this reminds of my family, especially when I was younger and used to live with my parents. There was virtually no communication in my family related to emotions - just basic feelings. So it was like I had no idea who I was because I never experienced my emotions mirrored back to me.
So I also felt/ feel like I don't know who I am and I'd been constantly becoming someone my family wanted to see me as.
It's hard for me as well to be open with people and especially my parents. It's like I'm always playing a role.

And I'm sorry you're going through this