Hi Candy,
I know it's easy to give advice, sometimes too easy. My feeling is that you just have to go through the motions in this job, try not to get entangled in the bad vibe. I know it's easy to say.
On a side issue - you quoted Camus! I have all Camus' writing including his 'Carnets', (a kind of philosophical and personal journal). Camus has been a great inspiration to me for years, so approachable and courageous in his writing. A spunky guy.
I liked when he said (paraphrased from memory) "There is no difficulty which cannot be surmounted by scorn") I take this to mean that you don't have to give in, even in the darkest place.
His last journal, on his celebrity tour to South America, shows up his struggle with illness (TB) and he is not afraid to tell it how it is.
It's always nice to share a favourite writer.
Good thoughts to you, Myzen