For a while I thought everything was going away. I was no longer in this loop of what felt like just trying to roll through another day of feeling completely alone, like I was a failure at everything. I fell in love with the most amazing guy and he proposed to me...me of all people. But now everything has come back in full force, and maybe even worse. All the negative and bad thoughts and feeling of emptiness crawled their way back. I know this last week has contributed, loosing both my grandmother and grandfather, but this started back up a few months ago. I didn't realize I had stopped eating again until my fiancé told me. I know the thoughts are trying to push through even harder, I have told him this and he's getting more and more concerned...I've never seen him cry before until the other night when I told him. I don't know why everything has come back, everything seemed almost perfect.