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There's been tons of mockery addressed my way but zero flattery.
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Would you be willing to share something of what people say about you?
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if for them lack of performed femininity in the stereotypical sense is a complete turn off regardless of everything else
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What if it were?
I guess what I am wondering about is this: you have tried to attract men without, I gather, modifying your presentation in any way. You have tried hard at this, but it doesn't seem to be working. So that seems to mean that there is a conflict between your (valid) desire to express yourself authentically and your (valid) desire to have an intimate relationship. Both desires are completely valid, but if they do in fact conflict, what (if anything) would you be willing to do resolve the conflict?