...I think I am going to try to break the cycle of isolation and call a friend of mine, who I am in a casual/flexible dating situation with. I've been avoiding contact with most people in my personal life, and it feels weird not talking to him since it's been the longest amount of time that's gone by without any contact between us. I'm a little nervous, because I wonder if either 1. he's not reaching out to me intentionally or 2. he's feeling a little rejected that I haven't been in contact, when I know he's going through his own challenging times, so it's very possible he could think he's bothering me by reaching out (when really I wouldn't feel bothered at all).

It makes me very, very anxious thinking about it, which is stupid, since we have a close bond. It's not like I should be afraid of him. Maybe it's just the trigger, being hurt in the past. What I'm really hoping is to see him this weekend since I think I need that connection, but no guarantees it will work out with our schedules. I guess I just want to break the silence, but I do miss him.

On top of it all, I'm so incredibly tired of this week and can't wait until it's over.