So I usually feel pretty good days after the session, just lately I started to feel worse and I'm not sure why. I think partly it's because on my days off my mind goes crazy and I tend to ruminate a lot after the session.

Now it was even worse. After I left, I started to feel really sad, no idea why and then angry, no idea why, and I think I was even a little angry at my therapist, although he has done absolutely nothing wrong. And the session wasn't too deep or too intense so I don't understand why I have been having this horrible painful feeling on top of that.

I know I'm frustrated with myself because I don't know how to express or name my feelings and I feel really stupid sometimes because of that. But he is really the only person that has asked my what I'm feeling. He seems to think I'm avoiding feeling the feelings or talking about them.

I feel like I must annoy him and that he will quit on me or switch or forget our appointment although in a year and a half he has been very patient and consistent and has done nothing like that so I really don't have a logical reason to think that, nor I have a reason to be angry with him. So why the pain?

And I almost thought about canceling next time but I know I probably won't, because I think I'm starting to get attached to him, so that would be even more painful, but maybe I should just suck it up and stay busy.

I guess the question is... I have been doing a lot better opening up and feeling my feelings, more intense recently, so why am I going backwards and avoid feeling feelings and answering questions about them?