Please please don't judge Dx I'll try to sum it up. I'm 24/female. My mom passed away from brain cancer when I was 20. My dad got sick right after with a heart attack. Got a second one shortly after that was so severe that he was hospitalized for a year. I had no help from family at the time. He came back home and needs constant monitoring. He was prescribed oxycodone and that's where my addiction started. The stress/depression drove me to slowly sneaking a couple to taking large amounts. I know this is extremely wrong.

My dad actually knows I take them, but always thinks it's because I'm in strong physical pain from my other job. I'm actually really surprised he's never told me anything about it. He doesn't seem to care.

Anyways, I'm trying my best to stop. I'm starting to see the bad side effects of it. I'm so swollen/bloated and my lower stomach is constantly in pain. I've tried depression/anxiety meds and nothing ever worked like oxys have. It gives me energy and makes me feel normal/happy. I know this is not the answer though. How do I quit/stay off when it's always accessible to me. Even if my dad hid them, I know I would break one day and find them. I feel guilty and disgusted with myself. I take about 5-6 pills a day (5mg) but I've gone all the way up to about 15 a day in the past.