These past few days have been so dull and gloomy. It's hardly been light all day. I hate it. It's not even the shortest day yet, it's still 3 weeks off. At first I looked forward to the short days, I looked forward to it being dark early, but now it just seems constantly dark and it's really depressing me. And then it's my birthday today and I'm fed up of getting older, I hate it, nothing ever gets better with getting older and I feel less able to cope with adult life as I age too.