I'm sorry you're feeling this way bren. Depression sucks, plain and simple.It lies to you too, and it's hard distinguishing lies from truth sometimes. I know I listen too eagerly to the lies depression tells me, and believe them. But I have to disagree with one thing you write in your post. Depression is curable. It is only incurable if you end it yourself, because then the pain is passed onto your family. But I am sure you have heard that many times before, amd maybe you don't want to believe that either. Depression is curable, and with the help of your T you will be able to cure it, honestly. I don't know how long it will take. But it is possible, as long as you don't give in.