I would choose not to socialize with people normally, but some things I cannot decide autonomously. For example, you "have" to go to the wedding of a close relative. I recently went to a wedding, and I wished I didn't go and I didn't want to. But I couldn't avoid it. You may tell me this wasn't true, but believe me it was very bad. It was obvious that I was nervous and anxious. What is worse is that others who I believe wish they have my position academically and financially have more confidence and take it more easily with people and socialize more successfully and have more respect. Will I ever overcome this terrible trait that I cannot avoid? Nothing has any worth with the lack of social skills. I cannot gain the respect of others by the sheer act of socializing.