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Old Apr 08, 2017, 10:40 AM
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Pastel Kitten Pastel Kitten is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 972
Quote:
Originally Posted by subtle lights View Post
For me it means that I feel like I'm a different person from time to time. My personality, likes, dislikes, values, beliefs change a lot. Today I'm sure I want to be a yoga teacher, tomorrow I want to work with children, then I want to make websites, then I am going on holiday and after a long flight I'm checking out careers in aviation. Maybe it doesn't change every day but it does often.
I usually end up wanting to change jobs often though in reality I stick to it but resent it. Then I like it again. Then resent it again.
I buy hobby materials and then I want to do a completely different hobby, I dive into it, it's like what I wanna do forever. Then I just don't care anymore about it.
I'm also unsure about my sexual orientation somewhat...
My self image changes a lot based on my environment and people around me as well. Some call this "absorbing" other peoples stuff, identity, etc. Sometimes I feel like I am getting defined through others. Like I'd disappear without being defined by or attached in a way to other people.
Today I describe myself in one way, tomorrow in another way. There are some relatively stable characteristics though about myself, and I'm trying not to forget those.

This is how I see it/ experience it, but I suppose others might have slightly different perspective on this.
Ugh I relate to this so much. The worst is when people remember my different "personalities" and see how I am now, get confused, and question why I'm so different.

I can't explain why, and it sucks being reminded of all of the different "people" I've been when I've been trying so hard to be one consistent person.

Of course I don't blame them for questioning since I have definitely made some pretty drastic changes but it still makes me feel terrible nonetheless and, of course, makes me question who I am even further.
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Dx: BPD, OCD, GAD, and PTSD traits
Rx: Lamictal 200mg and 0.5mg Ativan as needed



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Thanks for this!
Lonlin3zz, Moth-fly, OliverB, shezbut, subtle lights