Thanks everyone. People didn't judge me explicitly, but I know I was obviously anxious and awkward (like staring in void places to avoid looking at people), and was marginalized. I could hear their nonverbal judgments, though. My (extended) family now has some expectations from me as an "adult" (they have an image of me that suits my age and education I guess, while in fact, I am still the child who left more than a dozen years ago, if not worse).

What bothers me a lot is the fact that I am marginalized and treated as unworthy because I cannot socialize properly. I think the fact that I cannot behave normal socially makes me feel so bad about myself and it affects my self-esteem for next times I try to socialize.

I don't seem to learn from my social encounters and develop some experience and skills with time.