I think that while manic we've all done that. That walking on the wild side, living on the edge..but when we feel omnipotent, we think that we're in control.
My third spouse was like that...I drifted to flame over and over, and when I finally committed and got stable I saw how much I was being used, and ended it.
It was hard to, and hard to realize blind I was to being used.
Can you share an experience?