I was used when I booked a whole vacation for me in a guy that I was dating for only a few months. We broke up before the trip, and tickets were non-refundable. He did not live up to his promise of paying for his portion or even show concern about the non-refundable tickets, although we had an agreement prior that he would pay for his ticket. The break up wasn't on bad terms. although I was hurt. He broke up, because he said he had to deal with his baggage, basically. I suppressed my anger though since he was rude to me prior to that and all about him, without consideration for my feelings. That side of him didn't come out to later. Prior to our break up, we were partying together, drinking, going expensive places, staying at top hotels, and living basically a hedonistic lifestyle out of our reach. Now, he's filing bankrupsy, and I'm still paying off bills.

Him and I made up, but we have a "flexible" dating situation. However, he is very unreliable. It seems to be all about him and on his terms. I seek him out when I am manic, because I yearn for the thrill of the rush of the lifestyle we were living. I glorify it......although I really shouldn't. Lately, I'm doing that, and I'm ashamed. I should have more self-respect and not date someone like this, but it's the "high" that I miss and the memories. I am blind when I'm impulsive and hypo/manic. I crave instant gratification, and I'm definitely feeling that way lately.