What kind of lies are being said? Deflections to keep people from seeing inside? If I lied about anything....it's to protect the system from being discovered out of fear. I would feel so exposed and vulnerable....like exposing a raw nerve.

How co-conscious are you? Can you speak with the Others? In our head we just talk, like take the lead and say what concerns you...it also entails listening to what the Others have to say.

It also amounts to a lot of respect...no yelling, accusations, put downs....more of compassion like you would sitting around a table talking to other people and friends like at a library, AA, class, dinner...

This helps stabilizing the system by staying calm. Some alters are emotional and may stay emotional, but that's not their fault...they are dealing with this just as much as you are, but from their perspective.

Getting everybody on board for the common good of your system will set you iff in the right direction.

You can't please everybody...but you can compromise and listen in.

We have learned to work together....talking to each other out of caring and love if not respect. We are all in this together. If one hurt...we all hurt. We are a family, a team for our system. Sure we don't always get along...but what family does? We love even the worst of us (even if they shock us).

We vote, discuss, debate, guide, everyone's opinion counts. It's a learned process.

I think it started by looking out into the blank and said 'can we talk? I feel..." Like standing on a stage talking out into the auditorium, then waiting for a reply from the audience.

This helped us get on a level. I hope that helps some.