Quote:
Originally Posted by MessyD
Hmm, I think you might be right. I definitely want to be more open and I do crave closeness, since I don't have it with anyone else. It's hard to admit, even to myself but now I think maybe I was upset because I actually wanted to go deeper. Last time we did, it was uncomfortable but I felt really good and closer afterwards so it makes sense I would crave that now, I just don't know why I keep avoiding it at the same time.
You said you're going through something similar, have you talked to your therapist about it? I know I should I just really don't know how to talk about that
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Well, I haven't talked about my attachment issues with him yet, I'm trying to solve those by myself for now. Not sure either, what to say.
I have repeatedly told him that I feel I cannot express myself, I am not me there, or just partially me, I feel detached from myself and anxious a lot of times. But my anxiety is an issue in my life now in general, so maybe it's no big surprise that I'm like that there.
I'm also having this huge fear that I don't want to get to the conclusion that I am too attached to him and then I should not go anymore - probably because I am too attached.
What has helped, to accept all this. The anxiety, the not being able to talk, the feeling like crap after. But that doesn't mean the situation should stay that way.
I know, it's hard, it's like impossible to accept feeling like crap because that would mean you don't feel like crap anymore
Also you mentioned about craving closeness as you don't have it right now in your life. That can really cause the expectations to go high and it's an impossible task because we know that he can't be that person we need in our lives and don't have. I have the same issue. But this realisation in itself could help, that we have the issue.