Quote:
Originally Posted by here today
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The important thing is a sense of self, an authentic ego, a psychological skin. And when one has that it comes with a sense of . . .well, boundary – my feelings, wants, and wishes are mine and yours are yours, and I have a sense of where I begin/end and that I don’t have to do what you want, need, etc., although I can pay attention to that when I pick up on it and can do something about it IF I want to.
I don’t have any credentials but I researched a lot about that, partly because I was interested, and then later because I became aware that I did not have a functioning authentic sense of self and I could intellectually/cognitively tell that I was shot in trying to live my life without one. Very desperate situation, so – true to my temperament and adaptation – I did a lot of research.
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But I used Heinz Kohut’s ideas from his book “Restoration of the Self” to try to generate a sense of self where mine had been lacking, and I can now “feel” my ego, boundary, like a bubble around me. Previously I “lived” underground in a concrete bunker. . .that was what I had instead of a flexible, translucent “skin”.
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I know this comment is from some days ago but hoping you might still see my response!
I really relate to the feeling of not having an authentic self. From a few sample pages of Kohut's book I got the impression that it was highly theoretical and presupposed quite an extensive knowledge of the psychoanalytical paradigm proposed by Freud and successors. It also seemed as though it might be quite outdated. However, perhaps it is worth trying to learn the basics and then taking another shot at it.
I was wondering how you managed to use such theory to 'generate a sense of self'. Any pointers on this? (I'm open to meditation techniques, visualizations, or any other strategies that might help...) Or do you think merely immersing oneself in the text is helpful?